dairy

Jam roly poly recipe

Posted on February 7, 2021 at 2:36 pm

A new word for a lot of Americans will be “stodge”. It’s a word with many negative connotations, but in the case of Jam Roly Poly that’s what it’s supposed to be – a stodgy comfort food designed to deliver calories straight to your waistline. Enjoy!

  • 300g / 10.5oz / 2 cups AP flour or GF flour blend
  • 130g / 4.5oz shredded suet OR butter
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • pinch of salt
  • juice of 1/2 lemon (about 1 tablespoon)
  • 200ml / about 6.75oz water (or more if needed)
  • 2 -3 tablespoons of jam, slightly warmed with a little water
  • custard
  • Preheat the oven to 160c / 315f.

    Blend the first 4 ingredients thoroughly. Add the lemon juice to the water and stir into the flour blend until the dough just comes together – it should be slightly sticky, but not wet. With GF flour blends you may need to add a little more water – if so, add it a tablespoon at a time.

    Roll the dough out to a half inch / one cm thickness. Try to get it as close to a rectangle as you can. If you’re me, a rough potato shape is the best I can do!

    Spread the jam thinly over the surface, leaving an edge about the thickness of the width of your thumb at a long edge. Slowly and gently roll the dough towards the exposed edge, without trying to get it super tight. You want a rough cylinder with a little internal room for expansion. Pinch the cylinder closed at the jamless edge and leave the join up for the moment.

    Butter up some baking paper and roll the dough log onto it, join side down. Wrap the dough log loosely with the baking paper, making sure the log is completely surrounded, and tie off the ends with string. Wrap the log up in a tea towel or foil to create a sealed cylinder.

    Place the wrapped roly poly in a loaf pan or other convenient heat resistant receptacle, then place the receptacle on a trivet or other support (such as old jam jar lids) into a baking pan. Place the baking pan in the oven and pour boiling water into the baking pan – you want plenty of water in there, but not so much it splashes out of the baking pan. You also don’t want any water entering the loaf pan with the pudding in it.

    Bake for 1 hour. Serve cut into slices so that you can see the internal swirl. Cover generously with custard and serve with a nice cuppa tea.

    One note, this is not a super sweet pudding. The dough is meant to be fairly plain to allow the jam and the custard to take central stage.

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    Figgy Pudding Cheesecake

    Posted on December 23, 2020 at 9:56 pm

    So, you want a plum pudding cheesecake. I have you covered. Yes, the title says figgy pudding…. this has both figs and plums in it, so I still have you covered!

    This is a crustless cheesecake. You are welcome to add one if you wish.

  • 3 packs cream cheese (8oz / 225g each)
  • 1 cup white sugar or equivalent (7oz / 200g)
  • 1 cup sour cream (240g)
  • 1 cup heavy cream (230g)
  • 3 tbsp flour of choice
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 tbsp vanilla
  • 2 oz (60g) each dried figs, plums, and 2 other dried fruits of choice, cut into roughly equal sized pieces, for a total weight of 8.5oz / 240g
  • Preheat oven to 350f / 180c. Boil kettle.

    Put sugar in bottom of mixer bowl. Put the 3 packets of cream cheese on top. Mix on medium speed until completely combined. Blend in the sour cream, heavy cream, and then the eggs one at a time, making sure each is completely incorporated before adding the next. Blend in the vanilla and flour.

    Remove bowl from mixer. Fold in the chopped dried fruit. Split between two 9 inch / 23cm pie pans. Place pie pans in deep baking dish and pour boiling water into the baking dish until it comes half way up the pie pan.

    Bake for 60 minutes, or until the centre of the cheesecake is mostly set – you’re looking for a slight wobble.

    Allow to cool to room temperature and then refrigerate. Serve cold with mulled wine, a Wassail cup, or a nice cuppa tea.

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    Baked custard

    Posted on November 11, 2020 at 8:21 am

    Baked custard is another classic British pudding. It’s simple, cheap, and feels way more gluttonous and indulgent than the ingredients would suggest. It’s also inherently gluten free!

  • 600ml / 18 US fl oz heavy whipping cream
  • 3 large eggs
  • 50g / 2oz caster (fine table) sugar
  • 1 tsp vanilla essence (or to taste)
  • 1/4tsp ground nutmeg, or to taste
  • optional: dried fruit, chopped to roughly equal size
  • Preheat your oven to 325F / 170C. Boil your kettle, or set a pot of water to boil on your stove top.

    Butter an ovenproof dish, about 1 quart / 1 litre capacity. If adding dried fruit, scatter it evenly around the bottom of the dish.

    Scald the cream and vanilla (heat until the cream is just beginning to lightly steam and small bubbles appear around the edge). Do not boil the cream.

    Whisk the eggs, nutmeg, and sugar together. Pour a thin stream of the hot cream into the eggs and sugar, whisking constantly, until all of the hot cream has been incorporated into the eggs.

    Place a large baking pan into the preheated oven. Put the ovenproof dish into the large baking pan. Pour the custard into the baking dish. Pour boiling water into the baking pan until the hot water comes about half way up the side of the ovenproof dish.

    Bake for 1 hour. Serve hot or cold. Once cold, the custard will be set with a fairly firm consistency, firmer than creme brulee.

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    Porridge Scones

    Posted on September 27, 2019 at 7:53 am

    Porridge is another name for cooked oatmeal. It’s easy to make, cheap, and is not too bad for nutrition. So, what do you do with all the leftover porridge? Here’s one answer, and it’s two recipes for the price of one!

    OVERNIGHT SLOW COOKER PORRIDGE
    Add oats to water at a 1:4 ratio, that is for every unit of oats add 4 units of water. You can do this by volume or weight as you prefer, so long as you maintain the 1:4 ratio. For this recipe I’ll say to use 1 cup of oats to 4 cups of water along with a pinch of salt, because that’s the size of my small slow cooker.

    Plug the slow cooker in, go to bed, and in the morning have some nice warm porridge for breakfast. Put the leftovers in a plastic tub in the fridge so that they are completely cold. Thoroughly stir the refrigerated porridge before you make the scones.

    PORRIDGE SCONES

  • 50g/1.75oz steel cut oats (if you can get them, if not use regular oats)
  • 150g/5.5oz self raising flour, sifted, or gluten free alternative
  • 25g/1oz brown sugar
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • pinch of salt (if your flour mix doesn’t already have salt)
  • 250g/9oz cold cooked porridge
  • 75-100ml/2.5-3.5oz cream (single or double cream, half and half, whipping cream, the cream left over from making clotted cream), or sour cream
  • Preheat your oven to 230C/450F. Place your lightly oiled baking sheet into the oven while it heats up.

    Combine the first 5 ingredients in a bowl and stir to mix. Add the porridge and mix with your hands. Add just enough of the cream to bring the dough together in a shaggy dough – it should look kinda ugly, not a nice smooth dough.

    Put the dough on a lightly floured surface and shape it into a thick round, about 1 inch / 2.5cm tall. Cut out into scone shapes with a cookie cutter, or deeply slash the top into 8 segments.

    Bake for 15-20 minutes for individual scones, or 20-30 minutes for the whole round. Serve with clotted cream and jam. Because of all the oats it will be hard to tell when they are done. You’ll have to practice across multiple batches till you know when they’re done.

    FLAVOUR ENHANCEMENT
    Try toasting the oats and the steel cut oats before you cook them. This will add a nice nutty flavour.

    As always, when you’re making a recipe like this you should absolutely adjust it for your own nutrition, health, or dietary reasons, so long as you keep the proportions the same. If you want to make your porridge with heavy cream I am sure it will be deliciously rich and gluttonous!

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    Sodium citrate

    Posted on September 5, 2019 at 3:43 pm

    Is a moderately expensive substance to buy.

    But why would you buy some anyway?

    Because you can turn any cheese into melty cheese. How’d you like a slab of “processed cheese” that melts just like those cheese slices, but it’s made from an actual cheese? Sodium citrate does it. It’s also used in molecular gastronomy, but I don’t do that. Yet… 😉

    But why would you buy it.. when you can make it? Well, I am a cheapskate. So I made it.

    I provide weights in metric first. Accuracy is important in this recipe so please use metric if you can.

  • 125g (1/2 cup) water
  • 97g (3.42oz) sodium bicarbonate / bicarbonate of soda / baking soda
  • 74g (2.61oz) citric acid
  • Add the citric acid to the water. Stir till the citric acid is dissolved. Warning before adding the baking soda – it will fizz like mad. Make sure the pot you use is a large one.

    Add the baking soda. Stir thoroughly while it’s fizzing. Once the foam dies down, it will fizz gently for a while – possibly over an hour. Keep an eye on the pot, and stir from time to time if you start seeing any cloudiness.

    Once the fizzing has died down, heat the liquid on medium-high until it comes to the boil. Reduce heat to medium and keep stirring. You want to cook off all the water. Stir constantly, you want to break up the crystals as they form.

    Once all the water is cooked off, you’re left with what looks like slightly odd shaped salt. That’s your sodium citrate.

    The thickness of the cheese product will depend on the ratio of liquid to cheese. If you weigh the cheese and then add the liquid as a percent of the weight you will get:

  • Cheese plus 0% to 35% liquid – firm, moulded cheese, cheese slices
  • Cheese plus 35% to 85% liquid – thick and flowing cheese sauce, good for dips and quesos
  • Cheese plus 85% to 120% liquid – thin cheese sauce, cheese foam, fondues, mac and cheese
  • Cheese plus 120% liquid or more – continues to become thinner and thinner.
  • Add sodium citrate at 2% to 3% of the combined weight of the cheese and the liquid. As a specific example, to make a tasty cheese slice:

  • 400g/14oz aged cheddar, shredded
  • 140g/5oz water
  • 15g/0.53oz sodium citrate
  • Add the sodium citrate to the water, stir while heating over low-medium until it’s dissolved, add the shredded cheese and stir until the cheese melts. Quickly transfer to a plastic wrap lined mould and refrigerate until completely cold. Slice thinly and melt over your burgers!

    Further customisation – instead of cheddar, why not try blue? Or pepperjack/blue cheese blend? What about the liquid – again, let your imagination go wild. Water, milk, cream, stock, beer, what do you want to add? What will go with your final dish?

    Since sodium citrate brings a salty, sour taste it’s important to use appropriate proportions while keeping the flavour of the dish in mind. But with it being so cheap to make, you can experiment to your heart’s content.

    Final note – a double batch of this yields 231g, or just over a half pound of SC. This should keep you in experimental materials for quite a few batches!

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    Duchess’s Pudding

    Posted on October 22, 2018 at 9:52 am
  • 120g/4oz unsalted butter
  • 120g/4oz caster / powdered sugar
  • 2 eggs, beaten
  • 150g / 5oz self raising flour
  • 60g / 2oz mixed fruit
  • 30g / 1oz glace cherries, chopped
  • 30g / 1oz chopped walnuts (or more dried fruit, to your taste)
  • almond essence to taste
  • milk
  • Butter your pudding basin.

    Cream the butter and sugar together until pale and fluffy. Gradually add the egg to the creamed mix, beating well after each addition.

    Sift in the flour, add the fruit, nuts (if using) and almond essence. Add just enough milk to make a soft, slightly wet dough (dropping consistency). Pour batter into the pudding basin, cover, and steam for 2.5 hours OR microwave on high for 5 minutes (based on 750W microwave, adjust to your micro).

    While cooking, make up some fresh custard. Enjoy!

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    Velveeta

    Posted on August 8, 2018 at 3:47 pm

    Now that I have your attention…. here’s how to make a home made version of Velveeta, only from actual cheese!

  • 1/4 ounce packet unflavoured gelatin
  • 6 tablespoons powdered milk
  • 1 cup (240ml) boiling water
  • 1 pound (16oz/450g) shredded cheese
  • Line a loaf pan with plastic wrap.

    Put gelatin and powdered milk into a blender. Add boiling water and process immediately until smooth. Add cheese and continue blending until mixture is very smooth.

    Pour mixture into pan and smooth out with a spatula. Cover with more plastic wrap then refrigerate until firm.

    Use in any recipe that calls for melty cheese… with the added advantage that you control which cheese it is. I use a blend of cheaper orange block cheese for the bulk of the cheese, then add in a stronger cheese for flavour. You can totally play around with this, using offcuts and bits of leftover cheese to make a cheese loaf that suits you perfectly… then melt it over some delicious burgers, or use it for Mac N Blue Cheese….

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    Fresh custard recipe

    Posted on December 3, 2017 at 4:44 pm

    It’s funny how you can get a mental block about something. In my case, it was custard. I always saw custard being made from Bird’s powder, and even when I moved to the USA I carried on buying it, albeit at a stupid price.

    Then, recently, I decided to check out how to make custard from scratch.

    Wait… only 5 ingredients?!!? That I already have in my pantry?!! Sign me up!

  • 2 cups milk
  • 2 tablespoons corn (starch)/(flour)
  • 1/3 cup sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • Combine the first 3 ingredients in a pot. Slowly heat while whisking until the milk is “scalded” (just beginning to bubble at the edges, or a little steam coming off). Take milk off the heat while you whisk the eggs and vanilla together.

    Temper the hot milk into the egg mixture – that is, pour a slow stream into the eggs while whisking vigorously. This prevents you making weirdly sweet scrambled eggs, which is not what you are looking for.

    Once you have incorporated about half the milk mix into the eggs, pour the egg mix into the pot and cook for a few minutes until it thickens up and coats the back of the spoon.

    CUSTOMISATIONS
    You should mentally stick a * next to each ingredient after the milk. You can increase or decrease the corn starch/flour to make it thicker or thinner. You can make it more or less sweet. You can make it more or less eggy, or swap out the whole eggs for 4 egg yolks which will make it much more rich and indulgent. You can add more or less vanilla, or other flavourings such as almond. Once you have mastered the basic recipe, go ahead and customise it to your heart’s content.

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    Instant hot chocolate

    Posted on December 2, 2017 at 9:25 pm

    Hot chocolate comes in two varieties: the ones worth drinking, and the ones that you can afford.

    With 4 simple ingredients you most likely already have in your pantry, you can make your own!

    3 cups dried non-fat milk powder
    2/3 cup sugar
    2/3 cup baking cocoa
    1/2 tsp salt

    Shake ingredients thoroughly to completely incorporate. Add 1/4 cup of the mix to 1 cup of boiling water and stir. Instant hot chocolate.

    This mix makes a little over a quart of instant hot chocolate powder. The extra mix over the quart? Well… you need to taste test it, don’t you 🙂

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    Clotted Cream

    Posted on March 30, 2017 at 6:00 pm

    Scones without clotted cream just aren’t the full shilling. That’s a fact.

    Unless you are in the British Commonwealth, however, getting your hands on clotted cream is somewhat of a challenge. Finding clotted cream at a reasonable price is even more so.

    HOW TO MAKE CLOTTED CREAM
    Just before you go to bed one night, take 1 pint whipping cream and pour it into a baking dish. Place the baking dish in your oven which is set to a very low temperature: 170F, 75C. Total time in the warm oven should be around 10 to 12 hours.

    When you wake up in the morning after the allotted time has passed, switch off the oven. Take out the baking dish and allow your now freshly clotted cream to cool down to more or less room temperature. Carefully and gently transfer the baking container to the fridge and chill it down completely.

    DO NOT STIR THE CLOTTED CREAM. You want as much as possible to set up to maximise your yield – if you stir, you will yield more liquid than clotted cream.

    You may have some liquid cream under the clotted. This is normal, so don’t worry about it if you do. Use the liquid, along with any milk top up needed, to make your scones.

    Enjoy your clotted cream on your treacle scones which have also been spread with some lovely home made jam. Serve with a nice strong cup of tea!

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